Your moment of zen.

The past few days have been pretty busy for me, but in a good way.  My boyfriend works out of town a lot, and he came home on Saturday after being gone for about two weeks. Sunday we spent the day together, and we went to a local farmer’s market that I love and bought a bunch of fresh fruit and vegetables.

Monday I usually run with my friend, but he went out of town to spend some time with family.  Needless to say, I took another day to bake some homemade bread, make dinner, and lounge around with my love.  My training schedule said to run, my life said not to.  Life won.

Today I felt great.  My boyfriend went in early to work, and when I got up I packed him a lunch and took it to him.  I stopped at the hardware store on the way home and then came home and potted some fresh herbs.  I then made an apricot blueberry cobbler with some produce I bought on Sunday.  It took awhile, but the finished product smelled amazing!

 

I pulled the cobbler out of the oven, and got dressed for my run.  I instructed my boyfriend to watch the dogs while it cooled on the counter, as our pit bull has been known to counter surf.  

It was cloudy with a little rain, which made my run amazing.  I felt great.  I can really tell how strong I am getting after the first run after a long run.  All of my miles were under 12 minutes, and I ran a 5K PR.  Compared to how I was feeling last week, I have to say that when I finished everything felt right.

It’s a good thing, because I came home to chaos.  As soon as I had walked out the door, the dogs had snatched the cobbler off the counter.  It fell flat, which meant it wasn’t ruined but it splattered everywhere in the kitchen!  Then the other dog decides to pee on the floor, and my boyfriend is yelling at his video games in the other room.  Moment of zen: gone.

 

It’s always important for me to remember:  Life will be crazy, and dreams of cobbler will be squashed.  But running will always provide a moment of zen.  Go running, deal with it when you come back.

A little inspiration just when you need it goes a long way.

I’ve been having a hard time with training this week, and yesterday I was feeling pretty discouraged.  I woke up achy, with sore legs and the memory of Thursday’s run like a bad taste I couldn’t get out of my mouth.  I kept running over the entire day in my head, trying to find the magic solution.  My training so far has progressed forward.  It may have moved slowly sometimes, but it always moved forward.  Not so this week, and the mental part of this was so much harder than I expected.

I posted on several sites (including my blog) looking for help, guidance, solutions.  In some places I was encouraged and supported, in others I was criticized.  I was reading everything I could find.  I have a couple friends who are hardcore runners.  One is about 8 years younger than me and is training for a tough mudder.  She put in a 9.5 mile run yesterday in a heat that’s been killing me.  The other is freakishly fast (at least to me).  I’ve never met anyone else who can run 6 minute miles for what seems like forever like she can.  She ran 6 miles yesterday in the afternoon.  And here I am, I can’t even get through 2 miles at sundown.

Then I came across a blog on wordpress from another runner.  http://irunibreathe.wordpress.com/  Her writing is amazing, and she chronicles her training triumphs and struggles.  As I read through her old posts, I felt myself more inspired, more motivated.  I actually wanted to go out and run while I was reading it.  I found one quote particularly poignant:

“Everyone has a life beyond and beside running that they manage and work around. I’m realizing that I can work with where my life is and base my accomplishments on that, not on what the skinny girl next to me who looks about my age is running. Everyone’s look of pain is different.”

Perfect.  Running isn’t about being the best.  I don’t have to win, or lose, or compare myself to anyone.  I don’t have to be better.  I only have to put in one more mile, one more burst of effort.  I only have to go.

I looked at my training log, and I realized I had been starting my runs about an hour earlier this past week.  I think part of me wanted to push myself to train in the heat, but the high 90 temperatures were killing my runs.  What I realized is if I wanted a different experience running, I needed to change something.

I got up this morning a 4am, and was out the door by 5 for my 8 mile long run.  The humidity was 90%, but the temperature was only around 75.  Also, I did a 4:1 run to walk ratio.  I wasn’t trying to finish it in an hour, I just wanted to finish it.  Most of my route was a gentle incline, but I ran the interval up until the last mile.  I ran out of gas, and my legs just couldn’t push through that last mile.  I walked and watched the sun rise.  And I enjoyed the walk as much as I had enjoyed the run.  I deserved it, I earned it.  I put everything I had into that run.  Everything I was wearing was soaked in sweat, and I even had to wring out my bandanna once.

Eventually I will be strong enough to run those last few intervals.  It’s okay that, that isn’t today.

For you runners, I could use a little guidance.

I went out for a 5 mile tempo run tonight.  I ate the right food for the past two days.  I was hydrated, and I didn’t make the same mistake I made yesterday with the water (see yesterday’s post).  I was excited for tonight’s run, and even a little anxious.  I felt almost like I had pre-race jitters.

The first mile went pretty good.  It is supposed to be just a warm up mile, and I kept a decent pace.  But it was hot.  And by a mile and a half I felt like I was trying to breath through a washcloth.  I mean, was there some solar flare I didn’t know about?  Am I living on the face of the sun?  By the end of the second mile I was walking.  WALKING!?!  I was so ready for this run.  I was amped; I was going to kick this run’s ass and now I’m walking? WTF?

So I start running again, determined that I am going to push through this.  I can still make this a great run, I’m not even two miles in.  Before I know it I feel faint, and like my legs are made of lead.  Oh, and did I mention it’s hot?

But I am really determined, so I switch to intervals of 5 minutes running and 1 walking.  I will walk the whole five miles if I have to, but I am going five miles.  I run the interval for another mile to mile and a half, but now my shoes are rubbing on my foot and my Achilles is bothering me.  I had tendinitis around the end of last year/beginning of this year, and it still requires some attention from time to time.

At 4.25 miles I’m done.  I can’t breath, I’m sweating profusely, my leg is aching, my calves feel tight, and I’m pretty sure I’m running in water it’s so hard.  I walk the last 3/4 of a mile because if I make one goal tonight it will be distance.  I came home, chugged a protein shake and climbed into a cold bath.  Then it was motrin and ice for the Achilles.

I don’t really know what’s going on, but my runs this past week to week and a half have felt incredibly difficult.  And instead of getting easier, they are getting harder.  For those of you who are long distance runners, and idea what’s going on?  (I took an entire week off about three weeks ago now.)  Any suggestions?  Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Tomorrow is an off day for me, and then I have an 8 mile scheduled for Saturday.  I can only hope it goes better than tonight.

When you really have to pee…

I headed out tonight to do a 5 mile tempo run.  I hate tempo runs, but they really do make you a lot stronger.  I was intent on fueling and hydrating right, and about an hour before I headed out I drank a big glass of water…You can see where this is going, right?

About two miles into my run I had to pee so bad it was actually painful to run.  I felt like my bladder was going to explode.  I was running at a local lake where a lot of people run.  A lot.  And there are no restrooms.  Run cut short on account of bodily functions.

Luckily, I have a two mile run scheduled for tomorrow so I can just swap tonight and tomorrow.  I’m going to be patient with this process, and consider days like today as learning experiences.  Its all part of the journey, and if I can’t laugh at the missteps and enjoy that I can run at all then I am missing the point.

Back on schedule

On Monday nights I run with a friend who is new to running.  It’s nice to run with him, partly because I can see how far I’ve come.  I’m not a pro, but I’m not a beginner.

I really didn’t feel like running tonight, but he looks forward to it and really enjoys it.  This is one reason why having a running partner can be good.  They make you obligated to run.  Usually we run 5 minutes walk 1 for 3 to 4 miles, but tonight I had a 2 mile run scheduled in my training.  I asked him, “do you think you can run two miles?”  He said, “I can try.”

We ran at a local state park.  I like the park a lot, but it’s by the water front and I always imagine I’m going to be one of those runners eaten by an alligator.  I’ve never actually seen an alligator, but I’ve heard the stories.

I let my friend run in front and pace the run.  He did an awesome job, and he made it the two miles.  I’m really proud of him, and I felt way better.  I love these short runs, and I love inspiring someone else to run.  Today was a good day, and I’m feeling motivated again.  Let’s hope I feel like that after the 5 mile tempo run I have scheduled for Wednesday.

I mean, theoretically, cake should be perfect fuel.

I took three days off from running.  I meant to go on Friday, but I had friends over.  Saturday I was recovering from having friends over.  Sunday run day.

I’m training for a half-marathon, and I have a nice plan from the running world website.  At first I was really good with the plan, lately not so much.  My last long run was probably four weeks ago, and I felt like I was going to die.  I’m starting to hate the long runs more than the tempo runs.

But back to today’s run.  I made a coconut cake with cream cheese frosting for my dinner party.  I LOVE to cook, bake, and eat.  In fact eating is my number one reason for running. A few hours before my run I had a left over piece of cake.  I had eggs and toast earlier and a smoothie for breakfast.  That should be enough fuel, right?

Mile one sucks.  I start out, my foot itches from being attacked by death star storm trooper ants yesterday while outside with my dogs.  It hurts, and the bites are squeezed inside two socks and a shoe.  I’m convinced they are going to itch the entire time, and my leg aches all the way up into my hip.  It’s hot, it’s humid.  About a quarter mile in is a hill on tonight’s route.  I hate it.  My pandora still says buffering after the first half mile, so I get to run the hill in silence.  Silence except for that annoying voice in my head reminding me how much mile one sucks.

By the time I get to the second mile my foot isn’t really bothering me any more.  Pandora has started to play my Linkin Park station, and I’ve got a good rhythm going.  I start to notice my surroundings.  Dogs barking, people on bikes.  I like to run through this neighborhood on nights like tonight.  It’s one of those places where people wouldn’t live if they had just a little bit more money.  They are nice, but there are always at least a couple people who smell of booze and cigarettes, like long nights and hot days.  There is something about the smell that is too familiar for me to be comfortable with, but the familiarity is comforting.

At mile three my feet and breathing are synced and forgotten, and my mind is running at it’s own pace.  I think about where I’ve been, where I’m going.  At the beginning of mile three I feel like an impostor, by the end I feel like I’ve always been right where I belong.

And then comes mile four and I realize that cake is NOT the perfect fuel.  My legs start to feel heavy, and I am soaked in sweat.  My mouth is dry, and zen is instantly gone.  I wanted to make it five miles tonight without walking, but the cake has abandoned me.  I start counting the minutes, because sometimes that helps take me past the wall.  Not tonight, though.

All in all, I finished a little under five miles.  Tomorrow I will run again, and I will try to get back on track with the training plan.  And I will not eat cake.

My very short running history

I started running about six years ago, around the age of 26.  I’ve never been a very athletic person, so a few miles on a treadmill at the gym felt like a huge accomplishment.  I didn’t really start running outdoors until a few years ago when I moved to the south.  I got a pit bull puppy, which I adore, but which had way too much energy to be in an apartment all day long.  When she was around four or five months, we started running outside together in an attempt to get her to stop chewing up everything in the apartment!

Almost four years later, and we are still running together.  Last year I started doing 5k’s.  My first race time was a little over 45 minutes (like I said, I’m not very athletic!).  My boyfriend came to cheer me on.  He saw the runners start finishing after 20 minutes, and thought I may be coming at any time.  When he saw the older runners walking across, he thought for sure I must have fallen over dead somewhere on the course.  Finally, I came around the bend, huffing and puffing, and sweating like I had some kind of medical condition!  A little kid went running past me, and I know I should have been thinking, “Oh, good for him,”  but it wasn’t even close.  I flung myself over the finish line, drank everything in site, and proceeded to eat possibly the biggest breakfast I’ve ever had.  It sucked, but the sense of accomplishment had me grinning for at least a week.  I had always wanted to run a 5k, but I never imagined it was possible.  A few more races and my PR is a little over 35.  Not stellar, but hey, at least I have a PR.

I’m not the natural runner, who runs twice a day in a sports bras and tiny shorts and can’t wait to get out for another mile.  Most days I’m tired, I have homework to do, dinner to cook, groceries to buy, errands to run, dogs to feed and take out…well, you get the idea.  I don’t leap out the door; most of the time I have to convince myself to go.  I love to run, don’t get me wrong, but some days I hate to go running.

So I decided earlier this year I wanted to run a half-marathon.  I told my sister, to which she replied, “Sure, you can run that far, but why?”  I have no idea, but I’m trying to fit this training into my crazy life.  I started in May, and I’m up to about 18 miles a week.  I can run almost five miles without walking, and my longest run has been almost 8 miles.  I want to run my first half in February, but I’m anxious and unsure (I haven’t even registered for it yet!)  I’m hoping this blog can help me stay on track with my training, and maybe provide some extra motivation when I need it!